The news these days is always negative and it seems that everywhere we turn people are down and discouraged. So I decided that I needed to spread a more positive attitude to counteract the negative. I’ve learned a few things and wanted to share some tips on how to be more encouraging.
Do you frequently catch yourself getting sucked into people’s negative attitudes. This can snowball and pretty soon you have a bad attitude too. We don’t have to do this. Remember, it’s okay to maintain a positive attitude and sprinkle a little happiness dust everywhere you go. Here are some things you can do to be more encouraging to the people closest to you.
10 Ways to be More Encouraging…
Actually Listen to them
We are always in a hurry these days, rushing here and going there. Our time is spread so thin and our focus is often on us. So when people talk with us we tend to gloss over what they’re saying. Often we aren’t really hearing them. We can hear the words, but our brains are so busy thinking about what comes next that we aren’t really paying attention. Slow down and take the time to truly listen. Be present in the moment and focus on what they’re saying. What the people around us have to say is important to them and we can acknowledge that by truly engaging.
Send a note
Don’t you love getting a note or card in the mail. In this day of fast email and even faster texting many people shun snail mail. But there is something so special about opening a card with a heartfelt note inside. It can make their day to know that someone is praying for thinking about them. So take the time to send a note to the people around you…your mom, your cranky neighbor, your best friend, the hostess of your last potluck dinner. I guarantee that the surprise will have them smiling for hours.
Make their favorite treat
My husband loves chocolate no-bake cookies, my son’s favorite is homemade chex mix. When I make a batch of their favorites they get so excited. It doesn’t take long for us to whip up a batch of someone’s favorite cookie, snack or dinner. It just takes planning and a little time. But what it tells our friends and family members is that we care about them. So the next time your sister is feeling down or your friend is having a bad day, make them their favorite treat.
Bring them flowers
There is something magical about getting a bouquet of flowers. It can be a fancy bouquet, a grocery store bundle or a handful of garden flowers. Give someone flowers and watch their eyes light up. You don’t need a reason to give flowers. That’s why I grow a cutting garden so that I can give flowers abundantly. Bouquets don’t have to be fancy but add a few special touches such as a vintage vase, a ribbon, and a tag expressing a kind thought.
Related: How to Create a Cutting Garden, DIY Flower Vases for Your Bouquets
Call or text frequently
Keeping in touch with a friend or family member who lives far away or even around the corner let’s them know you care. With our busy schedules it can be difficult to find the time for a long distance chat. So keep the call short but make a point of just connecting for a few minutes. Older friends and family members often appreciate a call while the younger ones appreciate a text. Even just a funny emoji to your child away at college can encourage them.
Invite friends over for a visit
How often do you invite someone to stop by for a cup of coffee or an iced tea? These days who has the time to fit a nice fireside chat into our busy schedules. But the connection with our close friends and family is so worth it. The problem is that it won’t happen unless we make the effort to invite someone over. “But my house is such a mess and I don’t have time to clean it” you say. That’s okay. Just invite them for a porch visit. Or head out to your garden shed or visit around the firepit. No house needed. Just have a nice tray handy for carrying your beverages.
Be available
If we want to help encourage others then we need to make a point of being available when they need help. Sometimes that means that you have to put your own plans on hold. Obviously you need to take care of your responsibilities but make room in your schedule for the unexpected and be willing and available when someone needs you. And look for opportunities to help. Does your neighbor with the brand new baby need a break? Maybe you can babysit for an hour. Does your elderly parent need some help raking their autumn leaves? Find an afternoon.
Leave a surprise package on their doorstep
How fun to open your front door and find an unexpected surprise package. It could be something you picked up at the craft store or something you baked. A new book wrapped in a bow, a potted plant or a box of chocolates. Giving someone a surprise gift doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful. The key to treating your friends and family this way is to make it reflect their likes and needs. And boy will they be surprised when they see something special tucked onto their porch.
Be about them not you
When we are trying to be encouraging we need to remember that it’s all about them. Stop trying to change the conversation to you. Ask questions and make comments about what your friends and family members are saying. Give them their moment in the sun every time you engage with others and they will feel like you really care about them. Take the time to make them the focus of your conversation and they will walk away feeling like someone truly understands them.
Pray for opportunities to encourage
This is the most important step in our journey to be an encourager. Pray for the opportunities to reach out to those around us. And for a gracious attitude and a willing heart. Pray for more compassion for our family, friends and neighbors. And when we just don’t feel like reaching out to others? That’s a great time to pray because that might be the moment that they really need to be encouraged.
Be that person that others will turn to for encouragement. I think that deep down we all would like to be more encouraging. It can be hard to step out of our needs and put others first. But the inner joy you will feel by helping someone else can’t be measured. Today, just choose one of these 10 suggestions and find someone in your life that you can encourage. Once you get started you’ll find that encouraging others gets easier to do.